So I’m kind of hoping to just begin these with some random thoughts from the week prior, and then maybe get into something. To start I’d just like to say that I love “Thin Oreos” because they’re so easy to eat in one bite, and I also hate them because they’re so easy to eat in one bite, damn you thin Oreos, you double-edged sword, you. I can eat like 20 of them in like 2 minutes and not know what happened. Anyways, now to my mini getaway. Do you know that feeling when someone that you hate really loves something (i.e. country music) so therefore, you have to really hate it? Yeah, well that’s what ruined country for me. However, I have to say there is a time and a place for country music and that time and place is when you’re doing a road trip in the south. This week my friend mentioned she was going to Orlando, FL, and I gave her my regular “oh cool, jealous” response but, she invited me. After telling her I was too poor she proceeded to tell me her mom had a hotel and she was just going to hang out, I was like well then yeah why not? Spontaneity at its finest. I mean it is a lot of driving for a little bit of time actually there, but I’ve never been one to turn down a “free” adventure. During the drive, I began staring out of the car window at the big pearly white clouds remembering just how pissed I was as a kid to learn that you can’t actually sit on a cloud and they’re just vapor. When we finally got there (only one speeding ticket), we had a nice pasta dinner and went to bed. The next morning we did exactly what we went there for, laid out by the pool and attempted to get a tan. We went to Disney Springs for dinner (such a tease being so close to Disney) and I ate my first Lobster Roll and it was SOOOO GOOD. We went back for lunch the next day before driving back home. I left with a little glow and a little pep in my step feeling better than ever.
I got back about 2 weeks ago now and have been stalling with finishing this (as usual) but that trip made me realize how much I love spontaneous travel and I really need to do more of it. Obviously money is still an object but eventually (hopefully) it won’t be. Jumping around again, this week I’ve realized that I finally am starting to feel like myself again. I feel like I’ve been in this dark hole for so long now and although I’m not where I want to be yet, I’m finally starting to make progress by crawling out of it. Even though my impending graduation and adult future is stressing me out and closing in on me, I feel more ready for it then I have the last few months. I’m starting to actually go to yoga at least once a week and sometimes the gym in my apartment (:O). I am excited to start my career and am starting to believe that I actually can. For most of my life (definitely my recent life at least) I haven’t really had a clear “dream” or even a big career goal. My answer to “What’s your dream?” or “What do you want to do after school” was always “Whatever I can get a job in.” Again, going with the theme of epiphanies, I’m starting to really have a vision of what I want and where I “see myself in 5 years,” so to speak. That encourages me. It motivates me to focus in and get excited about my job search. However, since I still have to get an internship before a job, I am still worried and hesitant about what will happen when that internship ends. My “advice” to myself and I guess anyone (not that I should be giving any but-) is to actually go into everything you do believing you are more than capable and believing you can do it well. I’m sure you’ve heard that a million times and it’s easier said than done but it actually helps. Hopefully, I can follow through on my own advice, but I rarely do. So with all that kumbayah behind us, let’s move on.
It feels like I already have plans every weekend for the rest of the semester and that is kind of stressing me out. It always feels like spring goes by quicker than fall for some reason. Spring break is coming up and I still don’t have a plane so…. hopefully I can get that locked down soon. As always, I’m feeling very appreciative and grateful for my close friendships here and am trying to nurture them as best I can.
Unsurprisingly this post was all over the place and pretty boring tbh. I’ll get better, I promise. Still trying to do this more regularly (and clearly failing) but progress!!