The person I see in the mirror now is not the person I’d been seeing the past few years, not in a good or bad way necessarily, just different. With the help of life experiences, medications, therapy, good friends, and good advice, I have started to accept and adopt the concept that everything “happens for a reason” and “teaches you a lesson.” While I’ve always said that I believed those things I realize now I didn’t truly appreciate them until now. Taking this concept for what it is, has really rocked me (in a good way that time). I feel that everyone has that one phrase or saying or thing that makes them feel better in the worst of situations, maybe not hearing it from someone else, maybe just thinking it, reading it, or seeing it somewhere that just brings comfort or peace of mind, well I think this is my thing now. My mind likes to think that there is, in fact, some plan for my life and that everything does have a greater purpose. For example, recently when I have hit my low points I have really taken the time to either talk about it with a friend, write about it, or sit down to think about what I have taken away from it or what it could mean. This is where the tarot cards have started to come in. Laugh or judge all you want, you non-believers you, but these cards have changed my life and have helped pull me away from my inner demons. Believe it or not, if you asked me a couple years ago if I believed in any of this psychic crap I would probably laugh, ah so naive. I’m not going to try and convince you that they are “real” because it really is just for myself and if you ever want to see for yourself, just give me a ring. I started using the cards when I got them for Christmas this past December. I spent an hour or so a day for about a week memorizing the 78 cards in the deck, one at a time. Around this time my boyfriend and I had been fighting a lot and I was doing everything I could to salvage the relationship. I suppose I was looking to the cards to give me the answers or hope I so desperately wanted about the future of my relationship. However, the answer I got, over and over and over again was the answer I did not wish to see. I can not tell you how many times I pulled the same damn card up after having shuffled countless times each day. My mother, a true skeptic, and non-believer of the psychic realm even had to admit that “the universe was trying to tell me something.” The two of swords was the card that kept appearing, you can google it if you want, but it essentially means that you are blocking a decision that you have been putting off and avoiding the truth, which I knew was so deadly spot on that I literally kept ignoring that card and pretending it meant something else. When the time came for the relationship to finally come to an end. I sobbed hard and held on to my deck of tarot cards saying that I trust them and that I will never doubt them again etc. etc. The way the explanations of the cards are written has been such a powerful tool for me. One thing I love about it is it can be interpreted very freely, and they all just simply represent influences in your life at any given time. It also has given me the greatest gift of all, clarity. Ever since the recent changes in my life, I’ve been getting the card “the fool.” This card has stood out to me in a way I can not describe. The two-word sum of the card is “spontaneity” and “innocence.” The card is about starting anew and following your journey even if it means falling, being naive, and being doubted. This is the first card of the major arcana, which means it is represented by an arty “0” so I woke up one day and decided to have that zero tattooed on my inner pinky. I have never felt so good about a spontaneous decision. The tattoo is for me, and it is small and in a spot that no one hardly ever sees it. It is perfect, and it is incredibly meaningful to me. It really makes me smile every time I look at my hands in downward dog. So I hope you find your tarot cards, and your ” everything happens for a reason” because it is important to have a thing or a phrase that you can always go to when you’re going through something, good or bad. I’m not saying go tattoo it on your body (unless you want to), but I am saying find that thing, find that saying that makes you feel good, that gives you hope for the future. Sorry not sorry for the tattoo Mom and Dad! I love you guys just the same.
All’s well that ends well.