You know what I think makes friendships so cool? The fact that the people we connect with are attracted to who you are as a person and what you offer to bring to their life. Real friendships, the ones that last are based on the soul and the heart. How cool is that? To have enough attractive qualities to make people say ” Them, I want them to be part of my life for a while.” Friendships can be an underrated type of relationship at times. Everyone seems to always be focused and obsessed with finding and maintaining romantic relationships that they forget about the friendships they have. Just because it is a different type of “love” does not mean it is any less special, especially since the romantic factor that complicates things is absent. Did it take a massive break up to get me to realize this? Definitely not. But did I develop an even deeper appreciation for my genuine friendships? Absolutely. Every day I feel my appreciation grows stronger. One quote that I’ve thought about a lot recently is from Sex and the City,
“Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.”
Is there anything better than realizing that you have someone who you found on your very own (i.e. not your mom) that actually gives a shit about you, that really truly is rooting for your SUCCESS? I really feel like these days that is so hard to come by, especially in girl world. People seem to be so self-centered and competitive. But finding that person that gets excited to see you, take personal offense to people that do you wrong, or get genuinely so excited when you accomplish a goal or dream. Often times I will think to myself how lucky I am to have the type of friends that I never get tired of. The type of friends that always bring a smile to my face. The type of friends that I can unapologetically be myself around, or have no shame in calling them to talk about anything at all, no matter when or where they are. Not all friendships are like this, however, and that is OK too. Sometimes you can have friends for different purposes, for different things they each bring to the table. For example, if you have a friend that always knows how to make you laugh, and you go to them when you need to smile, chances are good they need you for the same. So that brings me to the main point of this post, different types of friendships, with a bit of humor, and a bit of sentiment, and not to be taken verbatim or too seriously. From what I have witnessed, experienced, and seen on TV, I have gathered a general list of types of friends in a typical girl’s life (more or less). When it comes to telling these friends your deepest darkest secrets, I’ll tell you what I think about whether or not to confide in them. Listen, your friends are there to listen and be a shoulder for you to cry on when you need it, but if you do not think that is what their intentions are, then you are absolutely not obligated to tell them everything that goes on in your life. I know I personally have struggled with this concept because it almost feels like it is in girl code that you have to tell your friends every guy you hook up with, fight you have with your boyfriend or decision you make in your personal truth. It took 22 years for me to not feel guilty about not telling every one of my friends every single detail of my life. If they can help you, commiserate with you, or celebrate with you, then, by all means, tell them if you want to! If not, they are not, and never will be entitled to that information. Also- friendships are very different than relationships because you do not have to be as picky with the qualities they have, for example, if one of my friends does not want kids, or does not have the same values as me, or is stubborn or argumentative, that’s ok, whereas it might be a deal breaker with a romantic partner. So without further ado, here is my very rough list of the types of friends you may encounter. You may encounter combos of these descriptions or someone who fits one category but carries other distinguishing qualities that change the course of your friendship as well. (ATTN: some of the corresponding pics are quite the stretch).
The Ultimate. The person the above quote is referring to. The Soulmate. The piece of yourself you did not know you were missing until you met them. If you are truly, truly lucky you may have a few of these in your lifetime. I know I do, and I couldn’t feel more blessed. There is and never will be a question about your connection or relationship with this friend. This is the only friend type where there are no exceptions. You have them or you don’t. Does this mean you never fight? No, you fight with your loved ones sometimes it is human nature, but it does mean that it is never a relationship-ending fight. It means that you will always feel comfortable coming to them with anything. They will always have your interest in mind and have your back at all costs. Keep these friends around, and thank them every now and again for being your person. Because I don’t think there is a better feeling than knowing someone deeply cares about you and wants you to be happy.
The friend who you love and is a great listener but total gossip. We all know someone like this. We love them to death and they seem to care about you for the most part, but they seem to tell you a lot of secrets about other people they “care” about so that’s a red flag. Again, that is not always bad, it just means only tell them what you want them to know, and be cautious that you might be telling their inner circle as well.
The funny and lovable friend, who may be lacking some depth (at least within the friendship). I’m a firm believer that we need this type of friend. This sunshine on a rainy day, no strings attached kind of friend. They can cheer you up, make you laugh, study with you, drink with you, tag you in memes and etc. Will you talk to them about the fight you had with your bf? Prob not, but that’s what some of your other friends are for.
The group. Technically not a specific type of friend, but needed to be mentioned. In groups of 4 or more, there are always some friends closer than others whether you like it or not. Also, the drama is inevitable. Be careful who you tell what because chances are it will get out. You may also feel you’re not super close with any single one of them. I’ve always been more of a “few close friends” person than a large group person. To each his own, there are pluses and minuses to both.
The friend you’ve known forever. Can be your best friend in the whole world, or can be someone you may have had something in common with way back when and just feel like you still have to be friends with them just because you’ve known them forever, and if that’s the case, assess the situation, are you getting anything positive out of the friendship? Is it worth the negatives that come out of the friendship(do the +’s outweigh the -‘s)? If the answer is no, then cut them out sorry not sorry.
The judgey “high moral ground” friend. You know who this person is. Sorrrrry, glad you’re such a great person and all, but we do not want you in our lives. Do I already know this thing I’m about to do is probably a bad idea and going to ruin my life? Maybe, but do I want to hear how dumb it is because I’m definitely going to do it anyway? Answer yourself. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Yolo
The friend who REALLY gives no fucks. On one hand, you want to be more like them, but on the other, you think sometimes they could really use more of a filter. Will be the friend to tell you to “just dump him” when you tell them about the first tiny fight you got in with your new BF. Does not tolerate any annoyances and honestly good for them. Never really does long-term serious relationships.
The friend who always has a boyfriend. Totally the relationship type, never lets more than a few weeks go by between boyfriends. Fun to be around when they come out of their boyfriend cave once in a blue moon. Usually really pretty and good at listening. Usually actually IS a boy expert (see next) with empathy, understanding, and experience.
The friend who does not has a boyfriend but complains about it all the time. Will probably be the friend to end up with cats sorry not sorry. The reason you do not have a boyfriend is that you’re looking too hard for a boyfriend, boys have like a radar up for this, and they hide when it is set off. Also acts as an expert in all things boy.
The happily single super flirt. Can be annoying but honey do your thing unless it’s around my man. Everybody’s got one. Not the relationship type, loves attention, will probably be the last to marry or will not at all.
The jealous/competitive friend. Dump them. Always trying to be better than you/ make everything a competition.No need for them trying to lessen your accomplishments or bring you down because they’re jealous and unsupportive. We all know Lily was always jealous of Hannahs spotlight, don’t deny it.
The extra nice sweetheart friend. Someone you can do in doses but not all the time because it can get irritating. The kind of friend you love to grab lunch with and get out of their shell for a night out every once in a while. WILL NOT TALK SHIT WITH YOU, and will make you feel like the devil when you slip up and complain about someone.
The blunt bitch friend. Is the reality check you deserve. Sometimes you might not want to hear it, but you know they love and care for you deeply. One of my favorite types of friends.
The deep friend who you can go a while without seeing but it will always be normal between you. Another one of my favorites. Someone you share an undeniable bond with but are just on separate paths distanced geographically. They will have very intimate conversations with you and understand you on an emotional level.
I hope this post will evolve as I hear more about different types of friends and experience them myself. Take these with a grain of salt they’re just meant to be a funny little guide. People these days take everything so seriously and I’m doing my best not to. Will hopefully finish one of the many posts I’m in the middle of shortly, stupid A.D.D.