Still in between like 4 “planned” posts, so naturally writing a random irrelevant post because I feel like writing. Sometimes those are the best posts anyway. After all, this is really just for me anyway. If you’re here with me, thanks for riding my wave. *If you don’t like these or me then gtfo why are you wasting your time on my blog anyway.* Sorry needed to be said.
I want to find my footing. I dream of letting loose, going to the drive-in, letting my hair down in a club with my friends, essentially living in a hybrid of an old 50’s movie and Sex and the City. Take me on a date, show me a good time, let me be myself, let me be happy around you, it just might make you happy too. I want to listen to music on a late night road trip with good company and good stars. I want to travel and work/love my job and actually be financially stable. I’m getting closer every day to this dream guys, I can feel it. There is hope, and optimism in me finally. Yes, I still have my moments and I relapse and let the trust issues, depression, and anxiety rip me back and seep in, but that’s ok. I’ve accepted that that is apart of me right now. I can only do my best. I can only control what I can control. I have added to my playlist of music and I am vibing with it. I also am listening to my records and READING. I mean I am FINALLY READING, and it’s awesome, I am just begging myself to actually keep up with it. I am reconnecting with old friends. I am doing (some) yoga ( need to do more). I need to absolutely positutely make time for these things that make me feel good and things that benefit my well being either physically or mentally. Vibe with me ride with me. I am giving myself things to look forward to. Is there only $0.59 in my checking account? Yeah, but am I going to San Diego with a couple of my best friends? Hell yeah. Give me surf, give me friends, give me an altered state, give me sun, music, love, sand, dogs, Cali vibes, travel, In-n-Out.
I am chasing the purpose, my purpose. Not going to get all technical and deep on you about what my purpose is just yet, but I will say this: If I am not doing things I enjoy, with people I enjoy, then I fucked up. Grab your life by the horns, realize what you love, what you don’t, and what you’re missing, or who! Control what you can control.
I am excited about my new job(s) and what I am doing! I am realizing why I majored in sport all over again and falling in love with the golf industry. I am living out my dream of putting together mega-events in the sports world, and not sitting behind a desk 24/7. Is the pay shit? Yeah yeah yeah, but guess what it is not about the money! A wise best friend of me once told me choosing/finding your career is all about finding a balance between enjoyment and stability. (not in those exact words, sorry to butcher Nick). But you can’t always work in what your favorite hobby is, but you CAN find something you enjoy that also has the ability to sustain you, whatever that may be. Find your balance. Don’t choose a career for money, you will end up realizing you spent more than half your life being miserable. DO find something you’re passionate about and can throw yourself into, chances are you will end up making money you never thought was possible if you end up doing it right! Find what that is for you, and chase the purpose people. Every decision you make is for a reason. Usually, you will learn something, for the good or the bad, it will all contribute to your path and your purpose out here.
Just a quick read for you tonight. Maybe I’ll finish one of the many beginnings in my cell phone’s notes! Maybe I’ll start a whole new one again! Who knows!