2019.

Another new year, another chance to start over with a fresh slate and find a new reason to tackle the “maybe tomorrows.” Today, I’m writing for myself. I am using this post as a stepping stone for my goals and resolutions. I know it’s cliche to talk about “new year, new me” bullshit and to some, futile to keep saying you’re going to do the things you said you would do every new year that you never do, but it can’t hurt! So I am going to manifest my goals into reality by writing them down here, and maybe inspire someone to do the same.

2019. This is the year to follow my own god damn advice. The year to be exactly who I want to be. I am motivated.

To start, I will let more shit go this year. What is the point of holding onto old anger? Who really benefits from that I mean really? I will use my own personal life here as my beginning and an example for you. I’m taking a step, I’m being vulnerable and I’m freeing myself and others from any burden this anger has brought upon, because that is what anger is, it’s a burden, and it is a reaction evoked from other emotions. Now, to the people in my life that need to hear it the most, I forgive you. I forgive you for cheating or ditching or teasing or bullying me. I forgive you for all the lies betrayals and harm you caused alike. I forgive anything you have ever thrown my way and I thank you for it because ultimately it shaped me into the woman I am now. This is not directed at any person in particular, it’s for anyone who needs to hear it. You know your mistakes, and even if you don’t it is in the past and I forgive you. Cheers to letting it go and moving forward with our lives. Let that be a segue into another resolution of picking my battles.

If you know me you know I generally hate confrontation and any unsettled feelings especially with people that I am close to. However, sometimes I let that affect me too much and I never stand up for myself when I should, not always, but often.  I’d like this year to be about balance. Stand up for the things I believe in, defend myself when necessary, but also, choose my battles. Not everything is worth getting mad over, and sometimes we need to let that shit go, think about the consequences an argument might bring and ask ourselves if it’s worth it. I’ve never pretended to be perfect and I won’t be perfect this year either, but I will be better. I will put more good into the world this year than there was before. It feels so much better to bring good than it does to bring bad or do nothing at all. Experiment try it, see how you feel after doing random (or not random) acts of kindness one day, and then a day of not doing any at all. Compare your mood on those days. Then compare that mood to a day you felt negatively and see what went differently. Put the good out there and you will get the good back.

Not all my resolutions are quite as inspiring. I would also like to stop touching my god damn ear piercings and getting them infected (UGH). I want to stop writing half posts and leaving them in limbo. Stay away from people who put me down or make me feel bad about myself. Nurture my relationships/appreciate my loved ones more. Meet new friends and new people. Travel to new places. Also steer clear of passive aggressive people. Express more gratitude. Journal and blog more. Thank more soldiers for the sacrifice they made/make with their lives in more ways than we will ever know to protect our homes. Be more in touch with nature, go on more hikes and do more exploring. I want to do more yoga (lots more). I want to keep my room clean, wear my retainer more, eat better, and most importantly work toward getting a job that I love and moving into my own apartment. 2019 WILL be the year of positive and good energy. I really hope it is for all of you too. Again, I am not perfect, nor have I ever pretended to be. I make mistakes just like everyone else and I want to treat and be treated in a way that I think is optimal. Please don’t hold my mistakes over my head forever, and I will do the same for you. People live and learn, use your energy for good not evil. That is the message this year. Be your best self. Stand up for yourself, be accountable for your own actions. Do what makes you happy or figure out what that is this year. Live your life unapologetically being yourself. Oh, and another resolution STOP APOLOGIZING FOR EVERY LITTLE THING. I am so guilty of this and it does not help the self-esteem I am trying to build. Own your life and feel good about it. No more self-deprecating humor, confidence is key this year (article on this coming soon).

In wrapping this up I would like to thank the people who read these articles. This blog has turned a lot around for me. I’m coming up on a two year anniversary and I couldn’t be more excited about it. Thank you for giving me another community, thank you for letting me connect with you. I am so grateful for the opportunity to share and the graciousness I have been met with, so thank you. Happy New Year, I hope this year is nothing short of spectacular for you. Take your life and make it exactly what you want it to be this year.

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