Some days my anxiety is debilitating. some days I sit at my desk and stare at all the work I have to do instead of actually doing it. My body heats up, my hands shake and I run to the bathroom to throw up. Then I have to walk back to my desk, act like I’m fine and get right back to work. These days are hard, and I’m having trouble figuring out what to do or how to feel better. Usually these posts lead to advice and best practices, but I am lost. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what’s right and I need help. I am extremely frustrated with myself and I don’t know why I do the things I do and don’t do the things I feel I need/should do. Why am I so bad at confrontation? Why do I say stupid shit? Why can’t I get over these stupid fears? Why can’t I function like everyone else at the office? I feel shitty, I feel inadequate, incapable, and totally out of control right now. I want to go home and cry, but I can’t. I have an insane amount of work I have to do, yet I can’t seem to do a thing right now. I thought I was getting better, I thought I was managing. I feel like I can’t do anything right. I really am letting myself down. ‘Til next time.